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Oct. 1st, 2009 @ 01:23 pm An overdue 5 happy things post
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Because it's been way too long since I've made one, and I really ought to right now for all the things that are weighing on me (nothing catastrophic, which is even more reason to focus on the good things).

1. I'm at work and getting paid for it. This is a happy thing for many reasons, both irreverent (I'm stealing a few minutes to write a blog post, for one) and not (I have income, health insurance, other benefits ...).

2. I went to see Wicked at The Paramount on Sunday with [info]ratzeo, [info]lunapome, and [info]music_enforcer. We had great seats, the cast was fantastic, and I had as much fun as I did the first time I saw it live (I was wondering if the effect would be lessened by the fact that I'd seen the show two years ago).

3. My copy of The Mermaid's Madness, second book in Jim Hines' princess series, arrived yesterday, when I expected it wouldn't be released for a few more days yet.

4. I've recently been working on creating epic-level abilities for my D&D character (based on Crusader schools from The Book of Nine Swords, if anyone is interested), which is the most creative activity I've done in awhile. It's been nice, and gives me confidence that I might get back to creative endeavors yet.

5. I'm off to eat my lunch, which is a leek and potato soup I made after [info]shadawyn's entry reminded me of how much I like it (plus linked to a nice and easy recipe). It turned out a little too thick, I think (more like ... very light mashed potatoes than soup), but it's tasty and the weather is perfect for it.
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Aug. 17th, 2009 @ 11:25 am Link-blogging
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The people and their cultures: POC and the movies: With the movie "adaptation" of Avatar, a lot more people are becoming aware of the problem of whitewashing in the media, or, as unusualmusic puts it here, "stealing our stories and retelling them with white people. Dressed in our cultures. Which are then considered exotic." What people then need to understand is that The Last Airbender is part of a pattern - a tradition - of white people hijacking other people's stories for their own glory, and Avatar is just the most recently high-profile example of this. However enraged The Last Airbender makes me, it's ultimately only one of many such battles.

If anything I said above comes as the slightest surprise to you, you would do well to read this article. It's beautifully thorough, and explains why this is too persistent to explain away as "unintentional," or "not a big deal," or "just looking for the best actor to play the part."

The Terrible Bargain We Have Regretfully Struck: This is how casual misogyny from the men we love pushes us to make the call of "Swallow shit, or ruin the entire afternoon?" on a daily basis, and how the result is to make us - not hate, which would be easier both for us and for the anti-feminists - but mistrust them. We're "[n]ot fearful; just resigned - and on my guard."

This dynamic translates almost point-for-point to other oppressions, as the writer herself points out. If you are male, white, cisgendered, straight, abled, and/or middle-class, please read this and think about the people you love who are female, of color, transgendered, queer, disabled, and/or poor.

I love you, but there are times I have to defend myself against you.

I know you love me, but there are times you have to defend yourself against me. I will do my best to make myself trustworthy every day.
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May. 11th, 2009 @ 10:31 pm De-lurking to say ...
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People of color/non-white fans of sci-fi/fantasy/speculative fiction, please stand up!

This roll call, from the deadbrowalking community on LJ, is a response to yet another white SFF writer displaying ignorance of the long-standing presence of fans of color - not yet six months after RaceFail '09. You don't have to write anything lengthy or clever - this post is merely an attempt to get a (however incomplete) count of fans of color, after the nth time a white writer/reader said, "Wow, there's non-white people in SFF?"

And people wonder why we need to specify "'09" after "RaceFail" ... The ignorance is here, again, still.
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Apr. 24th, 2009 @ 11:49 am Friday happy 5
Current Mood: mellow
Current Music: "Antebellum," Vienna Teng
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I should remember to do this more often!

1. Recognizing the music coming from a co-worker's office as the Intermezzo from Pietro Mascagni's Cavalleria Rusticana ... because it was used in an episode of Rurouni Kenshin. 8D

2. I'm the only one in my office-pod this morning, because both of my co-workers are at a workshop. That means I get to play my music without wearing headphones. \o/

3. Last night, I awoke multiple times to hear [info]ratzeo tell Kershach to stop grooming his head. XD This is probably not such a happy thing for [info]ratzeo himself (particularly since Kershach got him right in the ear once), but I still find it absolutely adorable. ♥

4. Rediscovering my love of hair jewelry! When I was trying to look all nice and professional for the Accreditation visit, I broke out my collection for the first time in weeks, or months. Which is sad, because I have a rather massive amount of it! (I seem to forget about things like jewelry and my BPAL during the winter, because in the mornings I'm usually stumbling around in the cold and dark, looking for just the essentials of "pants and shirt" before running out the door.) Of course, this also means I just plunked down a bunch of money ordering even more hair jewelry online ...

5. Spring, spring, spring! Seattle is finally giving in to the change of the season, and I'm so happy to get the sun back.
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Apr. 2nd, 2009 @ 06:24 pm 5 things make an anti-oppression post
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( Some personal background explaining the reasons behind this post )

1. For those who are still asking, "What is RaceFail '09?" the briefest answer I can manage is: what started as another instance of the discussion about misrepresentation/lack of representation of people of color in science fiction and fantasy has resulted in a particularly public and particularly ugly backlash from (often white) writers and readers.

For a timeline of specific events, please start with this summary by Avalon's Willow. Further events occurred later, as described here by [info]rydra_wong, who has also painstakingly collected all the RaceFail-related links she could find, under this tag

If you're ready for further detail, please see my LiveJournal memories for (what I consider) some of the important posts.

And finally, please refer to this guide to the positive, productive actions taken by POC and allies in the face of RaceFail. Not because of. In the face of.

Read as much as you can. Learn as much as you can. If you take nothing else away from this, remember these two things: This is not "just another wankfest," because it's about race, racism, and representation - not individual personality clashes and this or that book. Also, this is not the first or only such conversation, even if it's the first time you've heard of one like this.

2. One of the best responses to RaceFail has, by far, been the creation of Verb Noire, an e-publishing company dedicated to written works by and about people of color and/or queer people. Please support them by donating.

3.I've posted this before, but remember: if you are an Asian woman or an ally, please contribute to the first Asian Women Blog Carnival. The deadline is tomorrow.

4. This is not a new study (it was published in 2007), but it's highly relevant: Subtle Discrimination is More Taxing On The Brain. Instances of ambiguous racism were more detrimental to black test subjects than obvious cases.

"Interestingly, white volunteers were more impaired by overt racism than by the more ambiguous discrimination. Salvatore and Shelton figure this is because whites rarely experience any racism; they do not even notice the subtle forms of racism, and are thrown off balance when they are hit over the head by overt acts. Many blacks, by contrast, have developed coping strategies for the most hateful kinds of racism; it's the constant, vague, just-below-the-surface acts of racism that impair performance, day in and day out."


This is why I'm more disturbed by expressions of privileged ignorance from people whom I have some trust in, rather than dude-on-the-street spouting a racial slur. This is why I care more about creative works that fail in race or other areas when they come from creators who should know better, based on their previous performance (Joss Whedon, I'm looking at you).

5. This is not race-related, but it's important: March 31st was End the R-word Day, a day dedicated to ending the use of "retard"/"retarded" as a derogatory term.

I have succeeded in removing the word from my vocabulary, but I've utterly failed in speaking out to the people around me. There's no excuse for this. I wouldn't tolerate people using "cunt," "pussy," or "gay" as insults to me, so I can't tolerate "retard" used in the same manner.

I will start by resolving to respond to derogatory uses of "retard"/"retarded" by saying, "Please don't use 'retard'/'retarded' as an insult." That's all. It's just a start.
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Feb. 18th, 2009 @ 08:30 pm Fail, Penny Arcade, fail
Current Mood: disappointed
Current Music: "Metal Heart," Garbage
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I like Penny Arcade, I really do. Even though I'm a more of a tabletop gamer than a video gamer, I find them clever. This made me lol. This is one of my favorite webcomics of all time. I enjoy their con. I think their Child's Play charity is awesome - so yes, I know they do charity, and no, I don't think that means it's impossible for them to unwittingly act like assholes.*

And, okay, yeah, I don't expect them to be particularly progressive. I go to them for laughs and geekery - and, as with much of my geekery, I don my armor and hold my breath and hope to get through unscathed.

The misogynist insults? Made me roll my eyes, but the joke itself was funny - and, notably, would've been just as effective with non-sexist language - so I just tried to ignore it. (And please, no bullshitting about how the language isn't anti-woman just because it wasn't directed at a woman, or some such. "Bitch" and "pussy" are blatantly gendered insults, and are used to deride women, or "feminized" men - gay men, weak men, etc.)

Of course, it was easier to ignore before they made a T-shirt of it.

Then there's this. (And yes, it's an old strip, but I found it because it was linked in a recent newspost - without the slightest hint of apology or embarrassment.) It's always fun to be reminded that, if I commit the offense of being inebriated and annoying while female, I deserve to be reduced to "some bitch" or a "drunken whore." As a note of comparison, I doubt they would refer to me as "some chink." I wonder if they would refer to an inebriated and annoying gay man as "some fag." None of these forms of derogatory language are okay - not the homophobic language, not the racist language, not the sexist language.

And finally, ( there's today's strip )

*sigh* Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go apply Cerise like a balm to the soul.

*I really, really need to do that post on "niceness" and privilege.
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Feb. 3rd, 2009 @ 07:44 pm Staying accountable
Current Mood: sick
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I'm trying to figure out how to get back into my New Year's goals, and, well, I've decided to try making more goals. Last year (prior to the new job), I got pretty comfortable making daily or weekly to-do lists, and that generally kept me on track with what I wanted to do.

Because I'm still feeling my way around regarding the levels of time, energy, and skill I can call upon, I don't want to make the goals to constricting, so I'm organizing them by category. Each category is something I want to engage in on a (nearly) daily basis, though the exact activity can vary. So I figure if I just set the goal of "one from each category" every day, that should guide me toward spending my time the way I want to, without bringing in an excessive level of obligation.

It's also a way of keeping track of how I spend my time. That's why I'm including activities like spending time with [info]ratzeo - these aren't "tasks" that I need to have "done," but they're worthwhile things I am happy to spend my time on, so I want to acknowledge that.

( More details below, probably tl;dr )
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Jan. 2nd, 2009 @ 02:16 pm For the New Year
Current Mood: lunch-ing
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Welcome to 2009! Here's hoping that, however well or poorly 2008 treated you, your 2009 will be better.

I'm going to use the New Year as a time to formalize the goals I've been developing over the past few months (and post them here in order to make myself accountable), so here we go:

( This gets long )

Here's to a good year.
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Nov. 17th, 2008 @ 12:12 pm 5 happy things vs. work
Current Mood: stressed
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Today is one of those "THIS IS WHY I WAS AFRAID OF GETTING THIS JOB" days. :/

To combat that, here are 5 happy things:

1. A rousing game of Red Dragon Inn, played last night with friends. :D

2. My kitty. :3 Kershach continues to be a snuggle-monkey in bed, and will let us drape an arm over him when he lies down next to us, or we can even hold him like a teddy bear. It's best when he's lying on my chest, and I wrap both arms around him and snorgle my face into his fur while I listen to him purr. ♥

3. Adagio's herbal tea. A while ago I grew tired of fruit-flavored (black) tea, because the flavoring added to tea leaves either tastes fake to me, or the leaves themselves make it taste weird. So I decided to get some herbal tea from Adagio, which is just made of fruit and flowers. Their Wild Strawberry is quite yummy, and I plan to get more flavor samples with my next order.

4. Speaking of Adagio orders, I have one coming in today. XD (I'm not addicted. Er.)

5. [info]ratzeo continues to be my partner in all ways: best friend, boyfriend, roommate, fellow kitty-parent, and co-conspirator in all things geeky. ♥
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Oct. 31st, 2008 @ 10:49 am 5 happy things for Halloween
Current Mood: busy
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This morning did not get off to an auspicious start. I missed my bus, since I forgot that it tends to come early on Fridays (fewer students going to campus for class, I assume). When I got to work and made tea, I dropped my mug, spilling the tea and - more importantly - breaking my mug. T_T I need to get myself a replacement, because I need my big ol' mug of tea at my desk when I work.

On the bright side:

1. My coworker let me borrow one of her big ol' mugs, so I'm set for today.

2. It's Halloween! I get to dress up as Mystra tonight. 8D Also, I am totally in love with my costume, because [info]lunapome made it and it is gorgeous. (Instead of looking like a 90s comic book character wannabe like the official version. Leather! Tattered clothing! POUCHES! :P)

3. After lots of fun partying tonight, I will spend the rest of the weekend being a homebody with my lovely [info]ratzeo. We have some housecleaning we need to do, but besides that we will be lazy lumps who get to do whatever we want at home. And that sounds fabulous.

4. Speaking of my lovely [info]ratzeo, it is mindnumbingly adorable to see him cuddle with Kershach. Kershach lurves his daddy, and luckily is the type of cat that [info]ratzeo likes as well. And they both like to devastate me with their combined cuteness. *points to icon* That is often what I look like when I see them. I ♥ my boys.

5. I started playing Puzzle Quest on the DS, and am totally addicted. :3

Happy Halloween to those who celebrate it!
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Sep. 23rd, 2008 @ 02:31 pm Let's try this weekly goal thing again
Current Mood: aggravated (at work stuff)
Current Music: "March of Mephisto," Kamelot
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It's been awhile since I've made goals, but it seems like I'm in need of a structured list again ...

Weekly goals (work on one of these every day)
-RP for NTGC
-fic for NTGC
-embroider belt for Halloween costume

Tentative schedule:

Tuesday
[x] stop by bank for money stuff
[x] make online order for kitty supplies

Wednesday
[x] weekly goal: wrestled with embroidery

Thursday
[ ] weekly goal: wrestled with embroidery (with greater success)
[ ] weekly goal: worked on RP

Friday
[ ] gym
[ ] weekly goal:

Saturday
[ ] Friends of the Seattle Public Library book sale!
[ ] cook dinner?
[ ] weekly goal:

Sunday
[ ] attend NTGC session!
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Jun. 9th, 2008 @ 04:39 pm This week's to-do list
Current Mood: stressed
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Monday
[x] gym
[x] Black Sexual Politics ch. 2

Tuesday
[x] cook food for this week's dinner
[x] Black Sexual Politics ch. 3

Wednesday
[x] gym
[x] Black Sexual Politics ch. 4

Thursday
[ ] gym
[x] Black Sexual Politics ch. 5

Friday
[ ] NWSA meeting
[ ] Black Sexual Politics ch. 6

Work on every day until done
[ ] notes for NWSA meeting
[ ] character creation (note to self: this is your break-from-work fun project, NOT Warmakers fic)

Weekend and beyond to be organized later
[ ] pack for Cincinnati
[ ] finish Black Sexual Politics
[ ] final notes/outline for talk
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Jun. 8th, 2008 @ 01:44 pm Today's to-do list
Current Mood: lethargic
Current Music: "Edge of Paradise," Kamelot
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Note to self: Okay, self, you have had a nice and indulgent weekend, doing nothing more productive than writing fic. Then you had a fabulous time last night giving [info]coramegan a proper send-off, and a lazy morning this morning besides. You have a lot of things you ought to do, all of which you want to do (or at least have done), so it's time to get crackin'.

Practical things
[x] eat lunch
[x] grab a shower
[x] eat dinner
[x] cook food so you have lunches for work

Fun things
[x] email GM #1
[x] email GM #2
[ ] email GM #3
[ ] make notes on Warmakers fic ideas ONLY IF TIME PERMITS

NWSA things (which are somewhere between practical and fun)
[x] Black Sexual Politics introduction
[x] Black Sexual Politics ch.1
[x] work on travel arrangements
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May. 19th, 2008 @ 07:34 pm D&D character meme
Current Mood: geeky
Current Music: "Crash and Burn," Savage Garden
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I Am A: True Neutral Human Wizard (3rd Level)


Ability Scores:

Strength-12
Dexterity-9
Constitution-13
Intelligence-16
Wisdom-13
Charisma-14

( Details and irreverent commentary )
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Apr. 28th, 2008 @ 11:29 am Reclaiming my day
Current Mood: blargh
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30-second compressed rant: My sickness, which has seemed to ebb and flow all weekend, has seized control of my throat and head this morning. (Probably the fact that I had to wake up early and go to work, rather than out with friends, is exacerbating the unpleasantness.) I'm way behind on my "homework" reading. I left my lunch in [info]ratzeo's fridge. People on the phone continue to be stupid.

*deep breath*

I am determined to do better, though. I indulged in some listless laziness at the beginning of the morning, poking around at work without getting much accomplished, but now I'm getting back on track. Here are five things I'm focusing on to boost my mood:

1. Warmakers yesterday was lots of fun. I didn't do much roleplaying myself, but people around me did, so I got to observe some interesting conversations (which I often miss out on when I'm roleplaying my own character). Also, we ran out of time before reaching the big combat, but that means that next adventure opens up with our battle against a tarrasque. 8D Also that means both the games I most recently played have ended on cliffhangers. *shakes fist at GMs who have me addicted*

2. I still have untested BPAL imps from my previous order, but instead of trying out a new one this morning I decided to go with something I know I like, and put on Szepasszony, which has thus far emerged as my favorite. It starts out as a light, aquatic, just-barely-soapy floral that is quite pleasant; after an hour or so on my skin, it deepens into a less-soapy, fuller scent that I want to describe as musk (but I have no idea if the perfume actually has musk in it, so that may just be how it reacts with my skin). A nice little comfort/mood-enhancer.

3. My coworker, whom I sucked into Adagio, shared with me a tea blend she ordered from there, called "Firefly" (yup, that Firefly). Tasty and geeky!

4. Being sick and having no lunch suck, but they give me an excuse to hit the Ave for pho.

5. I'm not actually coming into the office tomorrow, because my supervisor is sending me to an all-day retreat for "support professionals." I hope to get some good things out of it. And, hey, no answering phones all day!
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Apr. 23rd, 2008 @ 09:45 pm A quote
Current Mood: amused
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"I've been trying to think of how to kill a dragon by using move actions."
-[info]ratzeo

My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
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Apr. 23rd, 2008 @ 03:25 pm Muddling through
Current Mood: calm
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Last night was pretty bad in terms of productivity - my brain rebelled at the homework-like reading load I attempted, so I was unable to concentrate on anything more rigorous than Picross. I decided to let that happen and take the evening off, with the plan of buckling down again today.

So, in the meantime, to keep my spirits up, here's today's happy list:

1. I ran into [info]coramegan on the bus this morning, and we chatted about Warmakers and Next Time Gamers. Gave me a great geeky start to the day. 8D

2. Today the University put on a staff appreciation lunch event. Free burgers and lovely sunny weather to go with.

3. Making final arrangements for the NWSA conference - booking plane tickets and requesting time off work. It's a little scary, but the kind of scary that has been associated with some of the best things I've done.

4. Finalized the plan for my date with [info]shadawyn at Pike Place Market on Saturday. :D

5. And, uh, this one's super-nerdy, but ... our GM is laying down plans for the end of the Warmakers campaign. I'm still new to the experience of playing through and finishing campaigns, so the idea still makes me wooby. And throughout the day, I've just been imagining a sort of "AMV" for the campaign (because it's anime-based and I totally envision it done as an anime) set to the over-used, slightly cheesy, "At The Beginning." There are bits and pieces from the campaign that I think would be fun to see animated and set to the music.

... WHAT. I said it was super-nerdy. Don't judge me.
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Apr. 17th, 2008 @ 09:03 am (no subject)
Current Mood: hopeful
Tags: , , , , ,

Yesterday was ... well, it was good throughout the afternoon, but then near the end of work things got bad enough that I skipped my trip the gym and went straight home, feeling unfit for human interaction. After indulging in spirit-soothing creature comforts (comfy sweats, nap in warm bed, caramel butter pecan ice cream), I was somewhat restored.

I still have a tendency to let work difficulties weigh on my mind at home. It wasn't as bad as last time something like this happened, but I need to keep working on it.

So I'm focusing on the positive things this morning:

1. I took a step towards fixing the work difficulty this morning. Additionally, outside circumstances are such that the difficulty will not last for much longer. (Sorry for the vagueness, but I don't think I should go into detail in a public post. I figure anyone who's actually curious can ask me in person.)

2. Emails from [info]shadawyn! She's actually awake and online when I get to work, so she provides most of my social interaction and makes my mornings more fun. Although she's also a bad influence on me and dangerous for my credit card bill. ;)

3. Poking my GM and having game info pour out! Great for someone as bad at character creation as I am, who needs extra inspiration.

4. Last night, I progressed from passive comforts (like sleeping and DSing) to more active comforting activities, like drawing. I now have two of the Warmakers 4-koma ready for coloring, and am sketching out a third one. Like I said before, it's slow going. I'm about as good at drawing "funny" or "cute" as I am at writing them, which means I have to try really hard even though they're just dinky little chibi figures. But I'm happy with how the first two look so far.

5. And finally, the big thing to remember: my life is good. Very, very good, in fact. I'm healthy, I have a house and a job, I have great friends, I have engaging hobbies, and I'm in love. I want to remember this - not to make myself feel like OMG a horrible ungrateful person for feeling down sometimes - but as a reminder that I always have something available to make me feel better.
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Apr. 14th, 2008 @ 09:00 am Happy Monday!
Current Mood: good
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Good morning, all! I hope you have a great week!

Here are my happy things for today - the events themselves occurred over the weekend, but they're still boosting my mood:

1. Saturday's sunny weather was gorgeous, and I got to spend the afternoon outside with friends.

2. The book sale on Saturday had a pretty good selection, and I found quite a few things I wanted, including copies of two of my favorite Wonder Woman books - Spirit of Truth and JLA: League of One.

3. Warmakers adventure yesterday! Alas, [info]ratzeo could not attend (due to a favor he was doing for me and my household), and I missed both him and Gunnar. At least no one died while I took over his character, though. :P Also it looks like my pr0nfic went over well, which is a bit of a relief because I was kind of nervous. XD;;

4. Our new fridge was also delivered yesterday, which makes life more convenient. It also means we have freezing capabilities once again.

5. Got a few BPAL imps from [info]shadawyn yesterday, and today I'm wearing Szepasszony. Though the scent is gentler than the description implies, it's lovely and I keep sniffing my wrists.
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Apr. 1st, 2008 @ 08:35 pm Meta rec
Current Mood: thinky
Current Music: "The Minnow & The Trout," A Fine Frenzy
Tags: , ,

Head on over to [info]oyceter's (LJ) post on alpha males in fiction for some great discussion. The original post is specifically about mainstream heterosexual romance novels, but of course the alpha male trope shows up in romantic relationships in all kinds of fiction. It's a great read for those coming from feminist perspectives but who enjoy fictional romance - and who know why I put that "but" in there.

I was particularly glad to find this in light of my earlier entry about my struggles with fictional portrayals of "romantic." Not only is it nice to find people who agree with me in a hey-I'm-not-alone way, but it helped clarify some things in my head.

( Some highlights )

( My additions )
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