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Aug. 28th, 2009 @ 09:33 pm "If Black Women Were White Women"
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"What if suddenly, instantly, the power of white femininity were transferred to black women?"?

Read this article. Wow wow wow.

(It's modeled off of Gloria Steinem's "If Men Could Menstruate," which the author links to here if you haven't read it.)
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Apr. 7th, 2009 @ 08:35 pm If it's not about you, it's not about you
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I've heard that phrase a lot in relation to conversations about oppression and privilege - a reminder to members of privileged groups not to take criticisms of privilege as directed at them individually, or as criticisms of their personal character. I know it, and of course I think it's important. But, uh, it's not always easy to remember it myself.

So, I wanted to rewrite that sex question meme, right? And I did, with lots of help from others. But of course, that doesn't mean that it's perfect, and today I saw some comments criticizing a couple of questions in the new meme.

( In which I attempt to do some learning, and maybe teaching, from my mistakes )

I don't think I'm going to issue yet another version of the meme, because I can see myself editing it into eternity. I'll probably include a note with a link to this post, acknowledging that there are still problematic questions, that the meme can be answered partially or not at all according to people's preference, and that other, better ones can and should be made.
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Apr. 4th, 2009 @ 10:16 pm Version 2.1 of the sex meme
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I think this will be the last version. XD Maybe if other people find places for improvement, we can even get a whole new, different meme?

The list of contributors is: me, [info]lunapome (LJ), [info]laylah, [info]ratzeo, [info]puella_nerdii, [info]mahokiwi, [info]niwatorimegami (LJ), and [info]das_dingsi. In this version, the latest modifications are in bold.

Edit: Please note that this new version is an attempt to fix the problems of the original meme. However, I cannot claim that I have made a perfect solution. Please feel free to contribute suggestions and share criticisms here, or to simply change the meme when you use it. Also, I hope this can be used as a springboard for new, more improved versions. Please refer to this post for a more thorough discussion.

( The questions )
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Apr. 3rd, 2009 @ 08:41 pm Sex Question Meme, ver. 2.0
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For those who want it, here's an alternate version of the sex meme, hopefully more interesting and free of damaging assumptions. Co-written by me, [info]lunapome (LJ), [info]laylah, [info]ratzeo, [info]puella_nerdii, and [info]mahokiwi.

Please share as you see fit. If there are any glaring errors or problems, feel free to comment and I'll fix them.

Enjoy!

( The questions )
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Apr. 3rd, 2009 @ 12:22 pm Rewriting the sex question meme
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Many people have pointed out that the sex question meme is in serious need of revision, so let's try revising it. I was going to be ambitious and do it all myself (HUBRIS, I HAZ IT), but then I realized it would be both better and more fun if it were a group effort.

By way of explanation, here are some of the problems that were raised about the meme:

- Heterocentric questions ("we know everyone is straight so have you done anything REALLY WEIRD like kiss someone of the same sex 'cause that's WEIRD").
- The questions just aren't that interesting, because they ask "have you done _____" instead of "why do you like _____" or "what's the best way you've found to _____."
- The preponderence of "have you done _____" questions give off a "tee hee, sex is so naughty and you're naughty if you like it!" vibe.

For reference, ( the old version )

And now, the new version! This is totally a work in progress.
( edited questions in bold )

Have at it! Let me know what else you'd like to add, delete, and change.
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Aug. 1st, 2008 @ 07:52 pm Links to share
Current Mood: seriously?
Current Music: "Roam," Iijie
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Sorry for the radio silence lately. New job, apartment hunt, etc. etc.

Here's a link that was shared by one of my students: John McCain doesn't know if condoms help prevent the spread of HIV/AIDS.

If you can't see the link, here's the transcript: ( I wish I were kidding )

See, I do feel some sympathy for politicians in that they get all kinds of questions regarding all areas of policy thrown at them, and sometimes they're really put on the spot. Sometimes you just can't remember all the relevant information on a topic. But, seriously - not even knowing that condoms prevent the spread of AIDS? Does he know that condoms prevent the spread of STDs in general? And then to blithely support keeping that disease-prevention resource out of people's hands?

I suppose that, in the current administration's mindset, condom = 'that thing that prevents those whores from getting pregnant like they deserve whenever they dare to whorishly spread their legs for their own pleasure, those whores.'

And now, to alleviate some of your mental pain, have a post full of pretty boys.
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Jul. 20th, 2008 @ 09:49 pm Thinking about strippers
Current Mood: thoughtful
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So. Last night at [info]zinjadu's birthday party, she had a male stripper (courtesy of the lovely [info]lunapome). It was ... an experience. I don't know if it's an experience I necessarily needed in my life, but, uh, it's an experience and I had it. XD "Have a stranger in a thong sit on my lap and make me smack his ass" is now off of my list of things to do before I die (in case for some reason it was ever on there).

Anyway. More interesting to my nerdy brain than the embarrassingly up-close-and-personal aspect of the show was the fact that it was the closest encounter I've had with a sex worker. (I'm not sure if a man parading around in a thong should be classified as sex work any more than female models lounging around in lingerie, but in any case I don't know any sex workers personally - at least, none who have shared as much with me - so this is the closest I've come to someone who fits the category.)

( Thinking about expectations, boundaries, and gender differences )
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Apr. 22nd, 2008 @ 08:39 pm So much YES
Current Mood: fucking entitled fucking men
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"On a serious note, when I'm having low self esteem times and I notice I'm doing things to get external validation (especially sexualized validation), I do a little self check in to make sure I actually want to do the thing. Also, while positive external attention can be a nice little ego boost, it can not create self esteem or security. Those, by nature, have to come from inside.

Also also, while I have had friends have ask to feel my chest, and I have said yes, it did not heal either of us of anything. If the wound to your soul can be fixed via a boob grab, then it must have been more of a soul papercut."

Yes, yes, yes. I cannot say it enough. This ties into so many things I believe about women's (lack of) self-esteem and its connection to the objectification of women's bodies. It's just ... yes.

(If you want context, you may follow the link and figure it out. Myself, I don't want to give the dipshit author of the original post in question any extra publicity. On the other hand, this sparkymonster person seems like quite a fine individual.)
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Apr. 22nd, 2008 @ 10:35 am Adam Hughes' Women of DC Comics poster
Current Mood: geeky
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Posted here.

On the one hand, this is just a pretty, pretty image. I like Hughes' style, and the way his lines just look ... graceful? I don't know; I don't have the vocabulary to describe it.

( There's always a 'but ...' )

As a side note, [info]nenena on LiveJournal evened things up a little by posting this link to male Disney character beefcake. Questionably worksafe, but high-larious. [Edit: Link taken down because the images were posted without artist permission. The artist is David Kawena, and you can find the images here if you have a deviantART account.]
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Nov. 7th, 2007 @ 08:36 am Causes of Death Are Linked to a Person's Weight
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Furthermore, "[O]verweight people have a lower death rate because they are much less likely to die from a grab bag of diseases that includes Alzheimer’s and Parkinson’s, infections and lung disease. And that lower risk is not counteracted by increased risks of dying from any other disease, including cancer, diabetes or heart disease."

Take that, popular conceptions of health that assume heavier = unhealthy.

( blah blah me stuff )

I also recommend checking out Kate Harding's BMI Project. Especially for the triathletes who are labelled as "morbidly obese." Yeah.
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Jun. 15th, 2007 @ 11:53 am Leaving on a jet plane ...
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One day left before [info]zinjadu and I flee the country (breathe, Dora, breathe!) and I'm just about ready to go. All my stuff is ready and just needs to be put in my suitcase. I've even managed to work within the regulations on liquid substances (which, by the way, includes liquid gel cap OTC medicines because they're semi-liquid - which begs the question, what would happen if I packed a cat?). Everything is in order and ready to go.

Now if my debit card would just get here already, dammit.

As you might expect, I'm going to have very little Internet access for the next two weeks. I'm going to try to check my email every few days or so, because I should be getting a notification about my prospective job soon. But besides that, I think I'd rather spend my time seeing the sights - so that means no blog-reading (gasp!). So if there's anything you want to talk to me about, speak now or for-two-weeks hold your peace.

The prospect of going blog-less for a couple of weeks meant that I was eager to get my fill of blogs ... but also a little hesitant, because most of the worthwhile content I read is also rage-inducing in one form or another, and I don't want to start my vacation off on a sour note. But the Internet gods must be smiling on me, because I found a lot of things that pleased me:

( links! )

Okay, that's it from me for now. See you in July!
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May. 29th, 2007 @ 02:44 pm (no subject)
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Read this.

Read it and think about how much hatred we've developed for the natural state of women's bodies. Question that hatred as radically as [info]naamah_darling does. Understand what true respect for women's bodies means, and accept nothing fucking less.
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May. 25th, 2007 @ 08:08 pm Policing women through violence [Women and Violence, Part 7]
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[This is part of my series on Women and Violence, which I am writing as a project for a Women Studies course I'm taking. For an explanation and information on my intentions with this series, please see the introduction.]

In an article titled "'Femininity' and women's silence in response to sexual harassment and coercion," Kathleen V. Cairns describes how harassment of women functions as a method of social control over women's behavior:

[O]vert practices include the public, ritual shaming of women in the form of catcalls, lewd remarks and so on which serves to demonstrate the fact that 'any man or group of men feels entitled not only to pass judgement on any woman walking along minding her own business, but also to announce it to her' [Kotzin 1993: 167]

[...]

In patriarchy, women are taught to accept that their femaleness, their simple presence, are responsible for men's behavior towards them [...] It becomes women's responsibility to police themselves, to keep their dress, comportment and presence within approved limits to avoid 'provoking' harassment. (96-7).


This dynamic - of men acting with impunity to judge women, and women shouldering the blame for men's actions towards them - can be applied to other forms of gender violence as well. What it comes down to is the way that negative reactions from men - or even the anticipation of those reactions - function to police women in everything from their appearance to their behavior.

( the lessons women learn )

x-posted to Shrub.com
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May. 11th, 2007 @ 08:14 pm The obligatory FGC post [Women and Violence, Part 6]
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[This is part of my series on Women and Violence, which I am writing as a project for a Women Studies course I'm taking. For an explanation and information on my intentions with this series, please see the introduction.]

Yesterday some of my classmates gave a presentation about female genital cutting (though the terminology they used, and which is probably more familiar to people, is "female genital mutilation" - a difference which I'll address later on). It's an important, worthwhile issue, and I'm glad our class is addressing it.

Still, every time the topic comes up in conversation I cringe inwardly.

( Here's why )

x-posted to Shrub.com
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May. 6th, 2007 @ 12:49 am The violence beneath 'beauty' [Women and Violence, Part 5]
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[This is part of my series on Women and Violence, which I am writing as a project for a Women Studies course I'm taking. For an explanation and information on my intentions with this series, please see the introduction.]

Next week I'm giving a presentation in class on cosmetic surgery in regards to women of color. Now, cosmetic surgery does not readily fall under most common definitions of 'violence,' and I find myself hesitant to categorically label it as such.

On the one hand, while cosmetic surgery does involve bloody alterations on a person's body, so does surgery in general, and we generally don't label that as violent - especially when voluntarily consented to by the patient. The fact that cosmetic surgery is often (though not always) agreed to by an autonomous individual does mitigate the physical damage it brings.

Of course, we are all aware that 'consent' is a sticky issue, and that we can't ignore the pressures that can constrain a person's ability to make a choice - particularly in the case of women facing pressures to be 'beautiful' in a certain way.

Furthermore, the same level of physical damage can be construed as 'violent' or 'non-violent' depending on the context. Full-contact sports can be performed just as ferociously as a street brawl, yet not be uncontrolled and violent. What's more, a session of safe, sane, and consensual BDSM can be non-violent, while the quietest rape perpetrated under clearly communicated threat is clearly not.

( Where else violence lurks )

x-posted to Shrub.com
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Jan. 1st, 2007 @ 10:35 pm My yellow face
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One of my Christmas gifts from [info]ratzeo was Body Outlaws, published by the woman-friendly Seal Press. It's a collection of essays by women attempting to rewrite body image outside of conventional beauty standards - and not just white, middle-class, straight women, but women who experience all forms of oppression, including racism.

The first essay is "My Brown Face," by Mira Jacob, an Indian-American woman who constantly finds herself fetishized by white men. Most women of color are familiar with this experience - the 'positive' counterpart of racist degradation - when men tell you how 'beautiful' and 'exotic' you are. This can be accomplished either through ebullient and chivalrous praise, or through crude and fetishistic verbal harassment; Jacob describes instances of both. These anecdotes are presented as contained sections of the essay, without direct commentary - and yet her indignation and disgust towards her 'suitors' is palpable.

I love this essay for the clarity and energy of the writing, the juxtaposition of caustic anger and humor, but also for the personal nuances that Jacobs provides, which are so gratifying to read because they echo my own experience. Very few voices from women of color are heard in the mainstream conversation on body image - one of the reasons I asked [info]ratzeo for this book, in fact - and it was comforting to read things that were familiar to me, but so often overlooked by standard (white) analyses.

( more )

x-posted on Shrub.com
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Nov. 22nd, 2006 @ 04:50 pm Hee
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"She's a female character, and one of two things can happen to her: she'll get raped, or she'll get pregnant."

No, it's funny, I promise. And so true. Extra points for the sci-fi (specifically, BSG) context.

(From Racy Li.)
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Nov. 19th, 2006 @ 01:27 pm Brief rant
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You know what's sexist? White guys who see Asian women as exotic sex objects, something they can use in their porn-based fantasies about "sideways" vaginas. Why? Because everything about me is obscured by my sexual utility for them - they are attempting to define MY identity through THEIR penis.

You know what's ALSO sexist? Asian guys who think that Asian women aren't "Asian" enough if they don't exclusively date Asian men. Why? Because ONCE AGAIN my identity is being defined by a man's penis.

Look. I don't hold with the fringe view that women can only be feminists if they're lesbians, as if having sex with other women was the only way to be in solidarity with them. This is because women can have meaningful and supportive relationships with people that aren't characterized by what goes into their vaginas. Get it? WHAT I do, WHO I am, and WHAT I believe are not determined by whom I choose to fuck.

Oh, wait - that would be who fucks me, because clearly these perspectives treat women as passive sexual receptacles that can only have sex happen to them.

Stop exerting male privilege over me to make yourselves feel more important. Just stop. I don't care if you've got layers of privilege coming out your ass and this is just one more way for you to oppress people; I don't care if you're disadvantaged because of your color or class or whatever, and penis-privilege is all you've got. You DO NOT have the right to lift yourself up by taking advantage of the power society gives you over me.

I have the right to define my identity in the way that I want. That means who I date, but that's just a tiny part of it. It also means: who my important relationships are with, how I spend my time, what I learn, how I challenge the power structures around me.

I also have the responsibility to be aware of how my choices about my romantic relationships - among all the millions of other important choices in my life - affect me. But that DOESN'T mean doling out my sexuality based on the color of a man's penis. Or lack of penis. Or anything else.

I am not defined based on which men do what to me. I am defined based on my mind, not random parts of my body. My body is not the important part of me and my activism. MY VAGINA DOES NOT CONTAIN A MAGIC WELLSPRING OF POLITICAL SOLIDARITY, THANK YOU.

This rant brought to you by the letter FUCKING MORONS WHO CAN'T SEPARATE A WOMAN'S VAGINA FROM HER PERSONHOOD.
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Oct. 25th, 2006 @ 04:04 pm This needs to be spread far and wide
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Read this.

[info]naamah_darling gives an honest, detailed account of what can be involved in trying to lose weight. This is for every person who has ever criticized fat people as just being "too lazy" to do anything about their weight - or every person who has ever been told that losing weight is "not that hard." We pull this shit way too often, screaming about the "obesity epidemic" and stereotyping all fat people as stupid, greedy, or lazy gluttons who just need to "try harder." Perhaps worst of all is when we think that it's acceptable to go up to strangers - or even acquaintances - whose medical history, level of activity, and eating habits we know nothing of, and give them advice about how they should lead their lives. This post needs to be read by as many people as possible.

(I really wish I could give a copy to this guy and tell him to shut the fuck up. But this is the next best thing.)

The one thing that's missing in the post is greater attention to the economic constraints of losing weight - in particular, the way that healthier food is invariably more expensive, and tools for exercise (equipment, gyms, proper clothing) also costs a lot of money. To say nothing of the fact that a lot of people juggling multiple jobs may not have the time to properly exercise. Economic status can be a big barrier to a healthy lifestyle. Once upon a time, being fat was a sign of high class because it meant you had the wealth to buy a lot of food; now skinniness is the domain of those with the money to buy the organic food, hire the personal trainer, and pay the gym fees.

On a related topic, [info]naamah_darling also has a great post on fat, clothing, and Jean Paul Gaultier's use of a large model.
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Oct. 19th, 2006 @ 05:05 pm It's open letter time!
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Dear random-dude-in-my-class,

( Asshattery ahead )

But here's some good that happened today:

My philosophy professor took time to point out the inherent sexism of "we're so good for human rights" political liberalism when it fails to address the abuse of women that occurs in "private" (and therefore, not for the government to interfere in) places. And he didn't even have to be prompted to do it!

(But you know what's pathetic? That this is a special "good" thing that I feel the need to point out, instead of being "normal" or "decent.")

I bought the latest issue of Bitch for a class assignment, and there's a short feature in the back about male nudity in film, which lauds Harvey Keitel and Ewan "wanna see my lightsaber?" McGregor for their openness to baring it all for the camera: "No discussion of male full-frontal nudity is complete without a tip of the hat to these willy-waving pioneers." Really, how can you stay in a bad mood after that? XD

I also met with my advisor in C.O.R.E. about a special presentation I'll be doing for her tomorrow morning. She's a great woman, and talking with her always makes me feel heartened. I'm really glad to be able to help her out.
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